Speechless
I am having one of those moments where I am feeling something… I just can’t describe it. With the West Campus starting tomorrow I am filled with a lot of different emotions… excitement, exhaustion, fear, anticipation, joy, peace, amazement, appreciation, peace, honor, gratefulness, love… is it possible to feel all of those at the same time? I have had a lot of people ask me how I feel, I really have no answer right now.
Exciting time
Man this is an exciting time! We’re in the home stretch, just two weeks to launch. Scary and exciting all at the same time…
I have hardly slept at all the last two nights, thinking constantly about all of the little details that need to be done. It is like my brain is working overtime, and I’m not used to that. HA!
As I write Bobbie and her crew are over at the West Campus painting the entire building. Drywall was finished today and by Sunday night the building will have ceilings and painted walls! It is weird, but it will definitely feel like we are almost done. Unfortunately we still have a ways to go… floors, cabinets, lights, doors, A/V, bathroom fixtures, tile, welcome center, signs, banners, water fountains, fire extinguishers, furniture, and the list goes on…
Hang on, it’s going to be wild.
Doubt
I remember a night a little over a year ago, when I looked down at my son for the first time in the hospital. All I could think about is how much I loved him. And as I looked at him I thought, "I have no idea how to be a father." A year later, we have another one coming in a couple months. You know what, I may not be the best father that ever lived, but I'll be darned if anyone has ever tried harder.
It is no surprise to many of you that my favorite album right now (maybe ever) is the new Need to Breathe album "The Outsiders". There is a song on that CD, in light of my self doubt, that has really spoken to me. It says...
Won't you take this cup from me
Cause fear has stolen all my sleep
If tomorrow means my death
I pray you'll save their souls with it
Let the songs i sing
Bring joy to you
Let the words i say profess my love
Let the notes i choose
Be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you
In this hour of doubt i see
But who i am is not just me
So give me strength to die myself
So love can live to tell the tale
Let the songs i sing
Bring joy to you
Let the words i say profess my love
Let the notes i choose
Be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you
The bottom line is this... self-doubt is not an option. How can we doubt ourselves or our own skills when we aren't the one's responsible for the results? If God has called us to this, He will make it happen using our strengths and our weaknesses alike. I may not be the best pastor ever, but I'll be darned if anyone else will try harder. Who's with me?
