Saturday, October 10, 2009
Doubt
Ever feel like what you are supposed to do is bigger than you? That is how I feel with the new campus coming and a second son on the way... like this is way bigger than anything I am capable of. Of course I know that I am only a small piece of this, however it is still daunting. As I look at the gravity of our task and the immensity of the vision, I can't help but be humbled. There is no way I am qualified to do what I am being called to do. Maybe you feel the same. I have found in ministry however, that when you feel qualified to do something, that is probably the first of many mistakes you will make.
I remember a night a little over a year ago, when I looked down at my son for the first time in the hospital. All I could think about is how much I loved him. And as I looked at him I thought, "I have no idea how to be a father." A year later, we have another one coming in a couple months. You know what, I may not be the best father that ever lived, but I'll be darned if anyone has ever tried harder.
It is no surprise to many of you that my favorite album right now (maybe ever) is the new Need to Breathe album "The Outsiders". There is a song on that CD, in light of my self doubt, that has really spoken to me. It says...
Won't you take this cup from me
Cause fear has stolen all my sleep
If tomorrow means my death
I pray you'll save their souls with it
Let the songs i sing
Bring joy to you
Let the words i say profess my love
Let the notes i choose
Be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you
In this hour of doubt i see
But who i am is not just me
So give me strength to die myself
So love can live to tell the tale
Let the songs i sing
Bring joy to you
Let the words i say profess my love
Let the notes i choose
Be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you
The bottom line is this... self-doubt is not an option. How can we doubt ourselves or our own skills when we aren't the one's responsible for the results? If God has called us to this, He will make it happen using our strengths and our weaknesses alike. I may not be the best pastor ever, but I'll be darned if anyone else will try harder. Who's with me?
I remember a night a little over a year ago, when I looked down at my son for the first time in the hospital. All I could think about is how much I loved him. And as I looked at him I thought, "I have no idea how to be a father." A year later, we have another one coming in a couple months. You know what, I may not be the best father that ever lived, but I'll be darned if anyone has ever tried harder.
It is no surprise to many of you that my favorite album right now (maybe ever) is the new Need to Breathe album "The Outsiders". There is a song on that CD, in light of my self doubt, that has really spoken to me. It says...
Won't you take this cup from me
Cause fear has stolen all my sleep
If tomorrow means my death
I pray you'll save their souls with it
Let the songs i sing
Bring joy to you
Let the words i say profess my love
Let the notes i choose
Be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you
In this hour of doubt i see
But who i am is not just me
So give me strength to die myself
So love can live to tell the tale
Let the songs i sing
Bring joy to you
Let the words i say profess my love
Let the notes i choose
Be your favorite tune
Father let my heart be after you
The bottom line is this... self-doubt is not an option. How can we doubt ourselves or our own skills when we aren't the one's responsible for the results? If God has called us to this, He will make it happen using our strengths and our weaknesses alike. I may not be the best pastor ever, but I'll be darned if anyone else will try harder. Who's with me?
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1 comments:
You are by far one of the best speakers yet and I hear them all the time in the business world. For once a month, I hear probably 15. You have a talent, your writing and speaking ability will make High Rock #1. People are following you because of your humility. Stay humble and keep smiling.
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