JON ALLEN

Have you ever had one of those moments where you could feel God speaking to you as plain as day? Maybe not in an audible voice, but almost like he turns on the faucet in your mind and you just can’t seem to turn it off? I am having one of those moments right now. Sure it is 2am and every sane person is tucked cozily in bed right now. But I just can’t help it. I feel God speaking to me about who I am and what He wants me to do. Honestly, I don’t get in moods like this often, but when I do, I feel the compulsion to write my thoughts down. Somehow I feel like if I don’t record the thoughts I may miss or forget something significant. Typically I would sit down at the computer (being the huge nerd that I am), but this time I couldn’t resist the simplicity of putting pen to paper and allowing the flow of thoughts in my head travel through my arm, then my fingers, and out the end of a good old fashioned pen. Never to be backspaced, deleted, or cut.

Before I was a pastor I don’t know if I ever honestly thought about who God had created me to be. Sure I thought about what I was good at, what I enjoyed, what I wanted to do, “when I grew up.” But never really looked at the big picture and realized the mosaic that God was creating. To see that He had orchestrated every piece of my life to lead me where He wanted me to be, and that He is not even close to finished. Part of me wishes that I had seen it sooner and could have taken steps to prepare myself more fully for my purpose… and yet part of me realizes that perhaps the veiling of my purpose was necessary to lead me to it. The process of discovery has been and exciting one and there is a sense in which I feel like a child who is learning that he can swing, or run, or stack blocks. All of these things seem run-of-the-mill to us now, but when we are still young they are significant revelations. God is teaching me very specifically who He has designed me to be. As He is doing this, He is revealing to me events and experiences from my life that He has (unbeknownst to me) been using to shape me for this day and the days to come. It’s almost as if He has been creating each piece of the puzzle and He is just now putting the edges together. Not to dissimilar from one of my favorite movies of all time “Magnolia”. It is a strange movie for sure; in fact most people don’t get it. But I see my life in that movie. It tells the story of several different people living very distinct and separate lives. All with their own seemingly disconnected circumstances and issues. Yet somehow by the end of the movie every single story interconnects and you can se a larger picture that is greater than the sum of its parts. That is my life. I also believe that if everyone would truly seek God’s purpose for their own life, they would see that it is theirs as well.

What is my picture? What is God forming me into? What does He want me to do?